


Five Times Marie Schrader Got What She Wanted (And One Time She Couldn't)

by heyjupiter



Series: 5 Bad Things [4]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: 5 Times, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 00:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Yes, we <em>do</em> have that in purple!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Marie Schrader Got What She Wanted (And One Time She Couldn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to falafelfiction, the best beta a girl could ask for!
> 
> I warned for major character death, but it's nothing that didn't happen on the show.
> 
> These ficlets are mostly expansions of things that happened or were alluded to in canon and occasionally quote dialogue from particular episodes.
> 
> 1) -  
> 2) -  
> 3) 01x04  
> 4) 01x07  
> 5) 03x12  
> *) 05x14

1) "Come on, Sky, can't we get name brand Lucky Charms?"

"Nope. The Malt-O-Meal kind is just as good," Skyler says, but Marie knows her older sister isn't dumb enough to really believe that.

"No, it's not," Marie says, but she lets it go, afraid that if she pushes too hard Skyler will get fake Raisin Bran instead of fake Lucky Charms. At least she got Skyler to stop trying to make scrambled eggs every morning, like some kind of TV mom.

She tries again later, in the deli aisle. "What about Lunchables? Can we get those?"

"Marie," Skyler says. "You know we get free lunch at school. What's the point in buying overpriced crackers?"

"Sky- _ler_ , don't you remember how gross the junior high lunch is?"

"Believe me, it's not like the high school lunches are that much better," Skyler says. She studies her shopping list and her coupons and gets a 24-pack of Kraft singles. "We can make grilled cheese tonight, how about that?" 

"Can't I just pick _one_ thing? Mom always used to let me pick out something for an afterschool snack."

"Well, Mom can't get her ass to the grocery store right now, can she?" Skyler says. She bites her lip and says, "Sorry, Marie. I just…" She opens her knockoff Coach purse and pulls out a packet of food stamps. She flips through it, showing they're half-gone. "This is all we have until next month. Or until Mom or I can get work. So we have to be careful about what we buy."

"You're getting a job?"

Skyler shrugs. "I applied to be a waitress a couple places. Now that I'm 16, I could work on weekends and afterschool."

"Oh. That's cool, I guess," Marie says, knowing she's too old to whine that she wishes Skyler would hang out with her more.

"Hey, if I get hired, I promise we'll get some Lunchables with my first paycheck, okay?" Skyler says, her peppy smile back.

"Okay," Marie says.

"And, look," Skyler says. She holds up a coupon for $1 off Dunk-a-Roos. "We should have enough left to get these. Whatever Dunk-a-Roos are."

"Ooh, Tracy has those at her house, they're like cookies with a frosting packet. Thanks, Skyler!" 

Skyler smiles, and Marie feels kind of babyish for being so excited. But not so babyish that she doesn't pick out a box of chocolate ones and put them in the cart.

In the checkout aisle, Marie looks down from the magazines and sees the colorful zebra package of Fruit Stripe. She doesn't even like gum, but she likes the colorful package. She flicks her eyes back up and sees that both Skyler and the cashier are occupied with Skyler's stack of coupons, and she reaches out and puts the gum in her pocket. She's sure everyone saw. She's sure her face must be bright red, but nobody says anything, and she follows Skyler to the bus stop without getting arrested. When she realizes she's gotten away with it, she feels indescribably triumphant. Then paranoid again, because she knows that if Skyler sees the gum she'll make her take it back to the store. But finally, they make it home and she tucks the gum in her backpack. She can't _wait_ for lunch tomorrow.

* * *

2) When Marie hears the phone ring, she runs out of the bathroom to get it before her mom can. Luckily, she sees no sign of her mom in the kitchen, where their only phone is, so she has a moment to catch her breath. She wants to sound cool in case it's Brad calling. When she trusts herself, she picks up. "Hello?"

"How's my favorite sister doing?" Skyler asks.

"Oh. Fine."

Skyler laughs. "Sorry I'm not whatever boy you were hoping I was."

"I guess I'll forgive you," Marie says. "Speaking of boys, when are you going to bring me to a college party?"

"After you enroll," Skyler says.

"Aww, come on," Marie says, even though they've had this argument before. 

"Forgive me for not wanting to turn my baby sister loose among a bunch of frat boys."

"A bunch of _hot_ frat boys."

"They're not that great," Skyler says. "Trust me."

"Well, they have to be better than high school boys. They're so… immature."

"Eh," Skyler says.

Marie rolls her eyes. So like Skyler to have what Marie wants and act like she doesn't even want it. 

"So… how's school?" Skyler asks. 

"Boring as ever. How about you?"

"Pretty cool. I'm taking a fiction writing class this semester for one of my gen eds."

"So you just make stuff up and get credit for that?"

"Isn't that pretty much what you're doing for the yearbook?"

"Hey! I do interviews. It's like, a lot of work," Marie says. And if she sometimes makes up quotes, well, no one has noticed yet.

"Just teasing, Marie," Skyler says. "I'm glad you found something you like doing." She leaves, "since you didn't make the cheerleading squad" unsaid.

"Yeah, well. It should look good on college applications."

"Attagirl," Skyler says. "How's mom doing?"

"Oh, you know," Marie says. "The usual."

"Is she--"

"I don't really want to talk about mom," Marie says. "I'm taking care of everything, okay? You can trust me."

"Of course I trust you," Skyler says. "I just… I feel bad about leaving you guys."

"You've been gone like a month, Sky. God, did you think we'd collapse without you?"

There's a long pause before Skyler says, "Nevermind. Hey, I have to get going to work. Just tell mom I called, okay? Tell her I love you guys."

"Love you too," Marie says. 

She hangs up the phone and gets her backpack, retrieving her lip gloss and her notebook. Then she swipes some Pink Frost over her lips and dials Brad's number. After some flirty small talk, she says, "So, you're covering the science fair out at UNM Los Alamos for the school paper, right? … Do you think I could get a ride with you? I might get some quotes for the yearbook. And my sister goes to school there and she said there'll be some parties on campus tonight, after the game… that would be great! See you then!"

After the science whatever on Saturday, Marie figures she'll invent an illness or something for Skyler and she and Brad can find a party on their own. How hard can it be? There's no reason Skyler's lameness should keep Marie from having a fun weekend.

* * *

3) "C'mon, Marie, what's it gonna take for you to go out with me?" Hank asks.

Marie laughs. She and her co-workers have been coming to this bar for Happy Hour on Fridays for almost a year, and Hank's been asking her out nearly as long. She hasn't said yes yet, but she's starting to think she might. She's not getting any younger, after all.

She twirls a lock of hair around her finger and says, "I dunno, what are you offering?"

"How about a date with a genuine American hero?"

"Oh, is one here?" Marie asks, eyes wide.

Hank laughs and nudges his partner, Steve. The two of them always come to Happy Hour together. It's kind of cute. "Tell her, Gomie," he says. "Tell her how heroic I am."

Steve rolls his eyes. "Jesus, can't you just give her a break?"

"What, you think heroes like us should settle for second-rate women? Because if that's the case, maybe I'll start returning your mother's calls."

Steve laughs good-naturedly. "All right, you're on your own, man."

Marie says, "Seriously, though, you work for the DEA, right? What, like taking pot from college kids? It's not like you're a firefighter. _Those_ guys are heroes."

Steve grins and murmurs, "Oooh, snap."

Hank says, "I'm certainly not gonna deny the heroics of firefighters, but me and Gomie, we're out there facing down kingpins. We're keeping coke and heroin and all that nasty stuff out of your neighborhood. "

"Hmm," Marie says. "Well, my drink's empty, and I think it would be pretty heroic if someone were to refill it."

Hank grins and takes her glass up to the bar. She asks Steve, "Seriously, what's the deal with Hank?"

Steve shrugs. "We had a big bust this morning so he's feeling kinda cocky. More than usual, even. But if he's bothering you--"

"No, no," Marie says. "Just, you know, what's his deal? What's he like?"

"Well, he really likes you. And don't tell him I said this, because he'll get a big head, but he's a really good guy. Best partner you could ask for. He--"

Hank comes back and hands her a vodka cranberry, and Steve finishes, "He's probably not the ugliest guy in this bar."

"Christ, I need a new wingman," Hank says. 

"Hmm," Marie says. She sips her drink and thinks about telling her friends she's dating a hero. The idea has merit. More merit than her last boyfriend, who'd been a sleazy real estate agent. "Flowers," she says.

"What?"

"Flowers, Hank. If you want to ask a girl out, you should bring her flowers."

"You didn't know girls like flowers? Did you skip that day in kindergarten?" Steve asks.

"Girls just want to feel special," Marie says primly.

"Yeah? I can do special, no problem," Hank says.

On Monday, a dozen purple roses arrive at Marie's desk. The attached note says, "For a special lady." Marie keeps them on her desk until they start to smell weird, and on Friday she tells Hank "yes."

* * *

4) "Uh, excuse me, ma'am, can I help you with something?" a teenage girl in a purple Babies-R-Us polo shirt asks.

Marie realizes she's been staring at the same rack of bibs for too long. "No, thank you, I don't think you have what I'm looking for."

"What are you looking for? If there's something on the registry that's not in stock, we can order if for you," the girl says.

Marie glances down at the printed registry list and says, "Oh, I'll know it when I see it."

"Uh… okay… just let me know if I can help you find anything," the girl says, and goes off to give her same spiel to a woman looking at bottles in the next aisle over.

Marie knows it's wrong to be jealous of her sister. She should just be happy for her. And she is! She's very happy for Skyler and Walt, and she loves being an aunt. 

Shortly before getting married, Marie and Hank had talked about kids and confessed to a shared ambivalence, so Marie had gotten a 5-year IUD and they'd agreed to revisit the subject when she got it removed. She has over a year left on it but her feelings haven't changed, so it makes no sense that looking at Skyler's baby registry makes her feel like a bottomless pit has opened up inside of her. Why can't she be happy with her funny, brave husband and her beautiful, un-babyproofed home? She doesn't know why. She just knows that right now, she isn't.

Marie glances around, shoves a bib in her purse, and casually strolls toward the exit, still clutching Skyler's registry. Out in the safety of her car, she looks down at it and realizes she's stolen a baseball themed "Daddy's Little Slugger" bib, which certainly won't do for little Esmeralda. Well, it won't be too long before she gets invited to a baby shower for a boy, and she can hang onto it until then. The important thing is that the little voice in her head has quieted down for now, enjoying the thrill of getting away with something. She folds the bib, puts it back in her purse, and goes to Whole Foods to get a salad for what's left of her lunch break.

Marie keeps her impulses in check for the rest of the week, but on Saturday she finds herself drawn to Gertrude Zachary Jewelry. She tells herself it's just to look--maybe to find something she can drop hints to Hank about for her birthday--but when she sees the beautiful white gold baby tiara, she knows she has to have it. When the salesgirl asks if she can help her, Marie says, "Oh, yes, I want to get a gift for my sister's birthday. Her husband's an ambassador, so she always has to go to all these very fancy state dinners… hmm, could I see those earrings? The amethyst ones? Oh, I don't know, I think she'd like something a bit flashier," she says, holding the earrings up to the light with a critical eye. "What about that bracelet? Could I see that? Is that sterling silver?"

Marie pretends to examine her options while the salesgirl helps a few other customers. When she returns to Marie, Marie hands back a few pieces of jewelry and casually asks to see a necklace and the tiara. She runs her fingers over the tiara. It's perfect, and she doesn't raise her eyebrows at the $650 price tag. While the salesgirl is checking on another customer, Marie slips the tiara into her purse, checks her phone and says, "Oh no, I'm late to pick up my husband from the airport! I'll have to come back and look at these another time. Thanks so much for all your help!"

On her way home, Marie stops by the Hallmark store. The weight of the tiara in her purse soothes her as she picks out the perfect wrapping paper for her beautiful gift. She smiles, imagining how adorable the tiara will look on her niece's tiny head. No, she doesn't want kids of her own. She just wants things to be perfect for her niece and nephew.

* * *

5) "I can't believe you're making me go to this," Marie says, looking around the church basement, all fluorescent lights and folding chairs. So depressing. Even worse than the hospital, and she hadn't thought that was possible. "What if something happens while I'm gone?"

"Walt's with Hank, and he'll call if anything happens," Skyler says. "It's only an hour. And I just really think it could be helpful for you to meet with others in a similar situation. I know Walt and I both really thought the support group was helpful after Flynn was diagnosed. If you don't like it, you don't have to go back, but just… I really think you should try it, just this once. You don't even have to say anything. You can just listen."

"I mean, I already have a therapist, you know. Dave's been giving me some great support."

"I know, and I think that's wonderful. But Dave hasn't been through what you're going through. Here, do you want a cup of coffee before it gets started?"

Marie wrinkles her nose. "Not from here."

Skyler shrugs. "Suit yourself," she says, getting herself a Styrofoam cup of some vile-looking sludge. Marie's sure it's not organic.

Then a dumpy woman in a polo shirt says, "Alright, if everyone can find a seat, we'll go ahead and get started. I'm Tina, and I'm a social worker with the Family Caregiver Alliance." 

She goes on, but Marie zones out. There's no point in her listening, because it's not like Hank's going to _permanently_ need a caregiver. He's going to be just fine. He has to be. This can't be what happens to Hank--this can't be what he gets for being a good, honest DEA agent. For being a _hero_. It can't be, and it won't be. He'll start walking again soon, and she won't have to worry about the stuff she's half-hearing these people talk about, ramps and respite care and all that.

Then a woman, younger than Marie, shyly says, "My husband--he was in a car accident, six months ago, and he's, um, he has a complete L5 spinal cord lesion, and… well, I'm just wondering about, you know, how sex might work. I mean, we had a counselor at the hospital talk to us about it a little, but… um, if anyone wouldn't mind talking about it a little, I'd just… it would mean a lot to hear about it from someone who's been through it. Just to hear that it's not completely hopeless."

Marie leans forward and listens intently as other group members chime in with their stories, mentally sorting the stories into people who are hurt worse than Hank and people who aren't. She smiles, liking what she hears for the first time tonight. She can work with this. She likes to be on top, anyway.

The next day, when they have a moment of privacy, she makes her move. She understands what Hank's afraid of--of losing his manliness. But he doesn't stand a chance against Marie's feminine wiles, and that afternoon she takes him home with a smile on her face.

* * *

*) When Marie sees Skyler's name light up on her phone screen, she almost lets it go to voicemail. It's been too long since she last heard from Hank, and he's the only person she wants to talk to right now.

But she'd meant what she'd said at the car wash, about them being sisters, and after several rings, she picks it up and says, "Hello?"

In a shaky voice, Skyler says, "Marie… can you please come over?"

"I'll come by as soon as Hank gets home."

Skyler sobs and says, "Oh, Marie, please come over, I can't tell you over the phone."

"What? What can't you tell me? What happened?" Marie's stomach goes cold, even though she knows Hank and Gomie have Walt dead to rights, they have Pinkman, they have everything. Nothing could go wrong at this point. Skyler's probably just upset about her husband being a drug lord. Which she should be.

"It's Holly… it's… Marie, please, I really need you," Skyler says.

"Holly? What happened to Holly? Is Holly okay?"

Skyler says something, but she's crying too hard for Marie to understand, and she says, "Okay, Sky, okay, I'll be right over."

When she gets there, Flynn lets her in. Skyler's sitting on the rocking chair, looking more composed that she'd sounded. The living room is full of police officers. 

"Oh my God, what happened?" Marie asks. "Where's Holly? Wait, is that blood on your sweater? What _happened_?"

Skyler's eyes fill with tears and she shakes her head. Flynn says, "Dad took her. H-he came back and he was acting all crazy and he--he fought with Mom, with a knife, and he took Holly."

"Your dad? Walt? Skyler, what's he talking about?"

Skyler nods. "Walt was here, he… I don't know how he got here, but he wanted us to come with him, and we wouldn't… and…" she draws a deep breath, "And he took Holly and drove away."

"I don't understand," Marie says. "He was in custody. He…" She trails off and pulls out her phone to call Hank. She stares down at it as it rings and rings. "Where's Hank? _What happened to Hank_?"

Skyler shakes her head. "He said…" She looks down at her hands. "He said he tried to save him."

"Tried to save him? From what? What the hell does that mean?" Marie asks, dialing Hank again.

"He didn't exactly elaborate," Skyler says flatly.

Marie gets up and addresses the police officers lurking behind them. "Excuse me. I'm Marie Schrader, the wife of Hank Schrader, ASAC with the DEA. Can one of you please tell me what's going on here?"

The officers look at each other, and then at her. One of them says, "We're doing everything we can to find Holly, as well as Agents Schrader and Gomez."

"Everything you can? What does that mean?" Marie asks.

"Local and state police, DEA, FBI… we're all working together and this case is our top priority."

The other officer adds, "I assure you, Mrs. Schrader, we'll keep you posted on any developments."

"Please do," Marie says, and joins her sister and nephew in the living room. She gives up on getting any useful information from anyone for the time being, but can't stand the silence, so she repeats what she already knows to Skyler and Flynn until the phone rings. She can't believe it when she hears Walt's voice on the answering machine. There's no way he should be calling here, no way he should be anywhere but in jail. The police officers scramble to trace the call, to record it, and then Marie watches her sister talk to Walt. Well, mostly Skyler listens. Marie wonders what Walt's saying.

Then Skyler asks, "Where is Hank? Please, we need to know," and Marie stands up, as if getting closer to the phone will let her hear the answer--will let the answer be something she wants to hear.

But Marie looks at Skyler's face and she finally understands that the worst is true, and she falls to her knees. Her ears fill with a buzzing, rushing sound. She has a sense that Skyler and Walt are still talking, but all Marie can think is how unfair it is that she's never going to talk to her husband again. She feels Flynn's hands on her shoulders, and she stands up. She has to step outside for a minute. She doesn't want to be here in Walter White's home, being consoled by Walter White's son.

Standing in the driveway, she pulls out her cell phone and dials Hank's number, still wanting desperately for him to somehow answer. Maybe it's all been some kind of mixup, like that time Jesse Pinkman had called Hank to tell him that Marie was in a car accident. No--it must have been Walt who had done that. Everything seems so terribly clear to Marie as she listens to the phone ring. Then she hears, "You've reached ASAC Hank Schrader with the Albuquerque DEA office. Leave a message with your name and number, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible," and hangs up. She calls his voicemail again and again until Agent Ramey gently ushers her into a black DEA SUV to take her back to an empty house.


End file.
